Ultimate Yiddish Words

Yiddish is an unbelievable language. It has been a language of the Jewish people for about 1000 years. Unfortunately since WWI and WWII and our integration into American society, the language has been slowly disappearing with only few grandparents from the old country who are still alive today speaking it. It will soon be an extinct language after the last generation of European Jews die out. However, all is not lost Yiddish has influenced American culture and language and especially our Jewish culture. Many words from the Yiddish language have been adopted by Americans and are now fluently used in western American language by Jews and non-Jews alike. Here is a list of words, which I like to call the “Ultimate Yiddish Words”.
This list is not in any order:


1. Shtick- one’s theme usually comical, someone’s act (That’s his shtick)
2. Shpeil- a story or a play (That’s my shpeil)
3. Shlep- to carry with difficulty or annoyance (I don’t want to shlep all those bags to the airport), or (Its such a shlep)
4. Shlump- a discombobulated person, who’s clothing is usually wrinkled, shirt is half tucked, yarmulke is falling off the side of his head, and who’s very disorganized. Usually also heavy (Look at that shlump)
5. Meshugana- crazy (What are you? meshugana?)
6. Oy vey/Oy gevalt- oh god (What? we lost the baseball game! Oy vey)
7. Kinderlach- children (oy, look at the cute kinderlach)
8. Nebuch- a helpless, hopeless, incompetent person (He’s a nebuch)
9. Gut vucht- have a good week. Usually said after the Sabbath. (Hello Shlomo, Gut vucht!)
10. Gezuntite- god bless you. Said after someone sneezes. (hachoooo,…. Gezuntite)
11. Shluf- nap, sleep (I’m tired, I’m going to take a shluf)
12. Kvell- to beam with pride/pleasure. (Oy, I’m kvelling)
13. Veshtunkin- smells, foul odor (your veshtunkina)
14. Shmutz- dirt (you have some shmutz on your face)
15. Gezunte hey- so be it, whatever (If that’s what he wants to do, gezunte hey)
16. Tsai gezunt- synonym for Gezunte hey
17. Kainehara- good for you, god bless you (he’s 95 years old and his mind is still sharp, kainehara)
18. Shmuck- idiot, negative word to describe someone (you stupid shmuck!!)
19. Yuntiff- holiday (Good Yuntiff)
20. Yasher koach- good job, usually said to someone after he lead the prayer service (Yasher koach Mr. Hurowitz!!)
21. Mishpaca- Family (I have such a big Mishpacha)
22. Shvartza- black person (he’s a shvartza)
23. Nudge- annoying, pest (stop being such a nudge)
24. Kvetch- to complain (stop being such a kvetch)
25. Shnoz- nose, usually referring to a big one (look at the size of that shnoz!)
26. Rachmanus- pitty (have some rachmanus on him)
27. Mamish- really (this is mamish amazing)
28. Chutzpa- nerve (what a chutzpa he is to not bring a gift!)
29. Nachus- joy, pleasure (you should bring lots of nachus to your entire family)
30. Hoodlum- street punks (a bunch of hoodlums were chasing me down the block)
31. Tsarus- grief, hardship (we should hear of no more tsarus)
32. Yenta- female gossiper (don’t tell Fannie, shes such a yente)
33. Schnur- begger, moocher/freeloder (the schnurs are now collecting)
34. Schtickle- a alittle bit (“Suzy, give me schtickle of fluoride”-Tim Watley (SEINFELD)
35. Shvitz- sweat (I’m schvitzing over hear)
36. Bissel- a little, very similar to schtickle (give me a bissel of matzo ball soup)
37. Bubbe,Zaide,Mami,Tati- Grandma, grandpa, mother, father
38. Goy- non-jew (hes a goy)
39. Klutz- clumsy, Steve Erkle (don’t let him carry the glass, hes a clutz)
40. Mentch- good boy, well behaved, good manners (what a mentch)
41. Schmooze- talk (moishe is such a schmoozer, he can talk for hours)
42. Shikse- non jewish woman (what!? He’s marrying a shikse?)
43. Chachke- a souveneir, goody, usually crap (I bought a few chatchkes from my trip)
44. Tuchus- butt (look at the size of that tuchus!)
45. Shiduch- blind date, dating match (that’s a very good shidduch)
46. Nosh- to snack, eat (I’m going to nosh on some chips)
47. Faigela- gay (he’s such a faigela)
48. Shmendrick- fool, jerk (you stupid shmendrick)
49. Macher- big shot (you know Bernie? He’s a real big macher in the company)
50. Shmekle- penis (nobody wants to see your shmekle)
51. Shtup- either to tip with money, or to have sex with (shtup him $20 and he’ll let you in)
52. Sheitle- wig (oh my, that’s a beautiful sheitle your wearing)
53. Frum- religious (the mendelson’s are a frum family
54. Shtark- very religious (eitan is a very shtark boy)
55. Bubkes- nothing usually describing money (I don’t want that job, it pays bubkes)
56. Vus Machten- whats new? (nu vus machten?)
57. Faklempt- emotionally choked up, overwhelmed ("Talk amoungst yourselves, I'm alittle faklempt") -Coffee Talk (SNL)
58. Shmatah- dirty rag which is used to clean (wash it off with a shmata)
59. Bubba Maisa- bullshit, not true (that story is such a bubba maisa)
60. Frabrengen- celebration, party with songs and joy (lets frabrengen!!)
61. Shvach- so so, not good (the party was very shvach)
62. Heimish- old school, homelike, warm (the food is very heimish)
63. Laibadik- lively (everyone was so laibadik)

64. Shvitz- to sweat (that boy is shvitzing from playing sports)

Republicans vs Democrats

What’s the deal with Republicans and Democrats. Their views and beliefs are not consistent with each other. (more so with democrats then republicans which we’ll get into in a minute) their ideas do not match up consistently with themselves. Sometimes, they even seem to be hypocritical and contradictory in comparison with everything else they believe in. For example: Democrats care all about the environment and want to save the planet and are obsessed with global warming and put billions of dollars into these issues, yet they are pro-choice/abortion. They care so much about saving the trees but are okay with killing unborn babies.

Republicans are anti many things and are strict and rigid with their rules. They seem to have the reputation of being disciplinarian/no fun/old school party poopers. So why are they pro-guns? Why guns? Democrats are the opposite. They are liberal/free spirited/anything goes type people. So why would they be anti guns? Because the republicans like them? Their cool with everything else, so why anti-guns?

These things just don’t make sense to me. Another point I want to make about democrats and republicans is that it seems to me that democrat/liberals are very intimidating over republicans. Its almost as if republicans are accused of being racists. Republicans are not nearly as open about being republican as democrats are. (at least in the northeast where I’m from) you see a million Obama bumper stickers and you don’t see a single McCain one. It’s almost as if people are scared to put a McCain bumper sticker on their car out of fear of vandalism.

Republicans may be viewed as racist and unfair but in reality they are rational and realistic as opposed to democrats who are optimistic idealists. Democrats are more emotional and don’t exactly add up all the ramifications to what they want to achieve, while republicans are realists and go by what facts and history tells them not by what their heart tells them and therefore they might unfairly be accused as being cynics/party poopers when in reality their just trying to be smart and rational as possible, which is what’s good for our country!! Its what makes sense!!! Its what really gets things done!!!

One more thing about democrats/liberals. They care so much about global warming and give it so much attention with media coverage and put so much money and energy into it. Fine, I agree that its important, but shouldn't we be worrying about other things, like Iran and other terrorist countries that want to kill us. shouldn't we be worried about whats gonna happen with the world tomorrow as opposed to whats gonna be with the world in millions of years from now. By that time we'll have the technology to defeat global warming anyways. So lets worry about the state of the world TODAY and not worry about the world when our great-great grandchildren times 100 are roaming the earth.

Judaism Is A Race

Dear ladies and gentlemen, If Judaism is supposed to be a religion and not a race then why is a Jew categorized as being a Jew instead of being categorized as an American or Polish or German? Christians aren’t categorized as being Christian. Their categorized by what region their heritage is from. (Irish or Italian). So why are Jews categorized and defined and labeled by their religion while everyone else is categorized by country? Its Because Judaism is treated as a race that’s why.

The Death of The Encore

An Encore is the act of a band coming back out on stage to perform one last song after they’ve already finished the show. This is done out of the reaction from the fans who cheer and refuse to leave the venue until the band comes back out. An encore is basically one last free bonus song for the fans. It’s a reward to the fans for being so great and so energetic, and it’s a testament to the band for rocking their hearts out.

However real encores are dead and gone. They’ve been replaced with predictable clischéic encores, which are now part of the show. There is no such thing as a real encore anymore like there was back in the days of Woodstock. They are now part of the act, which degrades and puts a damper on the true definition of an encore. The lights don’t even turn on after the “band finishes” but before the fake “encore” (for Pete’s sake at least make the encore look real). The band would still come out for an encore even if the crowd didn’t make a peep, because its now part of the show.

An encore is supposed to be something that the band earns for being awesome and rocking the venue. But these fake/predictable/clichéic/trite encores ruin the spontaneity and integrity of what a true encore should be.

Shame on you people.

School Is For Losers

The reason why I am adamantly anti-school is because I truly believe that its bullshit. There’s no reason why we need to spend 1/3 of our lives sitting in a boring classroom to prepare us for the world. We are overeducated as a nation.

Idealistically, the point of school is to create smart intelligent people who will be beneficial to society. However most people are not smart and intelligent. In fact most people are downright stupid. So then what’s the point of making them go through the entire educational system? The point of making everyone go to school is so that the small percent smart kids can get discovered and go on to become successful members of society. So what about the other 90% of stupid kids? They have to suffer through the school system without getting anything in return. So basically we make everyone suffer through the educational system just so that the smart kids can get weeded out.

Another part of the educational system, which I am adamantly against, is College. Yes we need doctors and lawyers. But there’s no reason why they have to waste 4 years of their lives in undergrad learning about sociology and anthropology. It’s a waste of time. College is also a waste of time and money unless your going to major in the business field. Certain majors such as anthropology, sociology, and philosophy are pointless. What’s a major in sociology going to do for you? I never met a sociologist before and I’m pretty sure the philosophy business died out about 500 years ago. I’m not sure how profitable these degrees are. In my opinion people should go out into the workforce after 8th grade. I’ll even settle for 10th (let them grow a bit more in physical stature). The only thing that high school and college does for you is to train you to cheat the system and take the easy way out. It teaches how to cheat and be deceitful. (at least from what I’ve seen in my experience).

You may be wondering why I’m attending college if I’m so against it. The only reason why I’m currently in college is because it’s become a sociological requirement. If more people from my background didn’t go to college then I wouldn’t. I’m not willing to be the first pioneer (the Martin Luther king of anti-education), however I will write about it like I’m doing here. Let me tell you this. I am not an ounce smarter after attending college. It was a waste of time and I only did it because I had to. I never understood those kids who go to 50 thousand dollar a year colleges. Unless you’re a straight A student and your going to eventually get into Harvard Law then it is the biggest waste of money. Instead of giving away the 50 G’s a year to a college, wouldn’t you rather want to invest it. Over the course of your 4 year college education you will have spent 200 thousand dollars in school. Wouldn’t you rather take that 200 G and build yourself financially with that money instead of giving it away? Instead of going to NYU for 50 thousand a year, go to Queens for 4 a year and put the rest of that money in your pocket.

And to all those who say “well I go to college because I like learning and education and knowledge”. To that I say: watch a fuckin documentary on whatever topic your interested in. you don’t need to take an in depth course which delves into a topic rigidly, and tests you on it, and make you write pain in the ass papers about it. If I’m interested in something I watch a documentary on it or I wikipedia it. I don’t sign up for a course that’s going to end up being a pain in the ass burden for me.

Yuntif Is Abuse

Holiday Yuntifs are pure abuse, physically, mentally, and emotionally. How much can a man sleep, eat, and keep himself cooped up in his house staring at the wall for? Its ridiculous! Yuntif is especially abusive when it falls out connecting with Shabbos. When that happens one cannot do anything fun/healthy/normal for up to 3 straight days. Jesus Christ!! We need a break!! It’s not healthy to be a couch potato (without TV nonetheless) for 3 straight days! You go out of your mind. Your family ends up driving you nuts after spending 72 straight hours with them. Maybe it was nice in Poland 200 Years ago, but not in America in 2009. Whether you like it or not, that’s the reality.

A separate issue, which I’m not going to delve too deeply into, is that the second day of Yuntif is fake. It’s pointless and unnecessary. Why we are still practicing it is a mystery to me. We now know what the correct day of Yuntif is which is why they practice the correct 1 day of Yuntif in Israel (not 2), but I have no idea why were still holding 2 days here. And don’t give me that crap about being punished for not living in Israel. The only reason why were still keeping 2 days is because crazy rabbis is Brooklyn like Yuntif so much that they wanted to keep 2 so they instated that we keep the 2 day Yuntif without any regard of the fact that most normal Jews don’t like it and its mamish suffering for them. These Brooklyn Jews live shtetle type lives and don’t care about those who go to work and live normal lives (us). We are sinners, so who cares that we don’t want to keep 2 days. The real holy Jews want it so we’ll keep it at 2. In reality 2 days is primitive and unnecessary.